Our own principal psychologist, Peter Doyle, discusses the psychological importance of letting go ...

Letting Go if You are Stuck in a Rut

Across the range of interesting clients we appreciate being able to work with, we regularly encounter hard working individuals who are seeking to change old patterns of behaviour that are keeping them in a rut.

Aspects of their life can feel stunted, or not well grounded, leading to restrictions in the level of joy, excitement and zest for life currently being experienced by that person. One form of powerful breakthrough to help people move out of that rut in their life is to explore the concept and feel the emotional shift associated with choosing to “Let Go”.

Letting Go When Life Is Changing too Quickly

On the other hand, I have also noticed how much and how quickly the key building blocks in people’s lives have been dramatically shifting and causing these clients distress ... relationship breakdowns, medical crisis issues (particularly a cancer diagnosis), job losses and business upheaval, have all crossed my desk with increasing frequency. Naturally the personal shock and emotional drain for each client can be intense.

These people are just as much in need of being able to undertake a healthy process of “letting go” - and in so doing open up to the possibility of learning and growing through the furnace of adversity.

Letting go can be particularly challenging, as many people mistakenly assumes that it is a sign of weakness, capitulation or failure. Nothing could be further from the truth ! Appropriately letting go requires wisdom, courage and trust in yourself.

Some high profile examples of the mindset shift that can be cultivated through our “Letting Go" approach can be captured in the following three quotes:

“It is fine to celebrate the lessons of success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure” – Bill Gates

“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success” – Dale Carnegie

“I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realized. Nevertheless I was still alive, and I still had a daughter who I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the foundation on which I rebuilt my life” – JK Rowling

But how do we overcome the shock and devastation that a change can sometimes bring? How do we turn a setback into a stepping stone to a better life? How can we break out a rut, which while comfortable, is ultimately holding us back?

Here is how letting go can work for you, to help you grow:

• To “let go” does not mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else.
• To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it is the realisation I can’t control another.
• To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
• To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.
• To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.

If you are finding it difficult to "let go", please take the time to see a psychologist sooner rather than later, because the longer we hold on to unnecessary baggage, the heavier it gets. The freedom of choosing to take this weight off your shoulder is exhilarating!

I find it thoroughly rewarding to work with people like you, to help them better engage the capacity to "let go" amidst the challenges of life, whether it is "feeling stuck", or the curve balls life can throw at you.

If this sounds like something you would like some help with, you can make an appointment at our Gold Coast Psychologist centre on (07) 5527 0123.