Why Do So Many Good People At Work Struggle To Perform At Their Best ?

For the past 20 years, Guidelight Psychology has had the privilege of assisting thousands of individuals on the Gold Coast around work and career issues and challenges, which have been affecting their wellbeing and peace of mind.

What are the Main Work Issues?

 In one particular calendar year, we asked every new client who was currently employed, to identify the key issues that would typically restrict them from thinking and feeling at their best in dealing with work and home-life balance issues. 

More than half these people, a staggering 53% of everyone we asked, said that the number one reason they were seeking our assistance was to better deal with relationship difficulties that were interfering with their sense of wellbeing.

Difficult Relationships Affecting Work

For some, these relationship issues were primarily centred around people in their workplace like a colleague, boss, customer or suppliers. 

Other clients indicated that relationship issues with spouses, children or extended family, were their primary concern. 

And others identified that both work and home relationships were collectively under pressure to the point where the person could no longer think or feel at their best.

It is heartening to be reminded that most of these relationship difficulties can be improved with the assistance of an empathetic psychologist. In counselling, you can:

• develop broader perspectives and insights;
• improve your communication skills;
• learn advanced positive psychology techniques;
• identify and practise useful workplace strategies;
• and stress management techniques.

To begin to change your life for the better, come and talk to a Gold Coast Psychologist at Guidelight Psychology. We would love to work with you to find the positives in your relationships at work and home, as well as ways to deal with the negatives, to improve your outlook and wellbeing.

Interactive Stress Management Workshops are Good For People & Essential for Business

Guidelight introduces Interactive Stress Management Workshops

 

Worksafe Queensland is a government department that is championing the need to focus on mental health as a key priority for every employer.

It is the case that a healthy worker ( mentally and physically ) is up to five (5) times more productive than an unhealthy worker.

Mental well-being and resilience for people in the workplace is enhanced through targeted staff learning and development programs.

As experts in the field of mental health and well-being in the workplace Guidelight Psychology delivers a range of interactive Stress Management Workshops in half day and full day staff group formats.

These programs are embedded with powerful tools and strategies drawn from our specialist knowledge of Advanced Positive Psychology.

Even if your workplace is not yet ready to contact us to engage our full workshop approach, please enjoy reading about some simple but powerful strategies each person can adopt right now, on the Worksafe website:

https://www.worksafe.qld.gov.au/injury-prevention-safety/mental-health-at-work

Do you feel like you are underperforming in your Personal & Professional Life?

Across a 12 month calendar cycle we committed to the rigorous task of coding the number one reason a client stated as to why they had booked an initial consultation with our practice to seek assistance with some aspect of their work or home life ( or both ). The size of our sample base of clients was over 1,000 people drawn from all walks of life around the Gold Coast and Brisbane regions

27% of people identified that the number one reason they were not currently performing or feeling at their best was because of difficulties associated with Interpersonal Issues.  This meant that they were having some level of communication breakdown, conflict, disharmony or mistrust with at least some of the people they worked with.  The workplace issue could have been with colleagues, or customers or suppliers or all of them, but the common point is that problems with some aspect of work related relationships had negatively impacted the mental health and well being of our individual client.

A further 26% of clients that we assisted with an initial consultation over that 12 month period told us that their number one reason for them seeking an appointment was to deal with difficulties created by relationship issues with people in their home life, such as spouses, children, relatives and neighbours.

Combine these two categories and it is revealing to understand that more than half ( 53% ) the people who had the good sense to seek professional assistance to find solutions and regain peace of mind when they experienced a problem affecting their mental health, booked an appointment because of unresolved issues with other people.

Many of these issues were quickly fixed through skilling our clients to develop crisp, clear communication strategies and learning advanced positive psychology techniques to change the previously negative impact of the situation on themselves.

People wisely consult their lawyer for contracts advice and their accountants about tax advice, so it is appropriate more of us start to consult our psychologist about relationship and communication advice.

Call 07 5527 0123 to make an appointment for a confidential consultation.

The Process of Personal Development and Power of the Mind

Do you feel like you are in a rut?

Do need help in developing the power of your mind to help you become the leader you should be?

Our reputation for providing leading edge personal development and character based coaching skills to an extensive client base over the past twenty years, has resulted in many people choosing to book an initial one hour consultation with us to expand the power of their mind and boost their emotional skill sets.

We have been privileged to work with diverse coaching clients from all walks of life, including inspiring everyday mums and dads seeking new insights, to empowering many hundreds of leaders in assorted business and community service roles.

In common across all these fields of service we provide with our wonderful clients, is the essential principle, that character based leadership success requires the development of a series of four building block rituals at the Physical, Intellectual, Emotional and Spiritual level.

Our strong recommendation is to look to integrate these four building blocks into your life through engaging our exciting individual coaching services by booking an initial one hour consultation.

If you are seeking to break out of a rut, transform to a better level of success and step more deeply into the full potential of your life, you are already thinking like a leader – A specialist title is not required for anyone who wants to work with us.

Anyone who is seeking to make a positive change can choose to access our services and begin their wonderful journey of personal development.

Contact Us on 07 5527 0123

The Wages of Work Pressure & Chronic Stress Can Be Serious & Deadly

A recent newsfeed from Every Day Health Matters, Why Workplace Suicide is on the Rise, succinctly highlights some statistics relevant to people who risk suffering serious mental health deterioration from work pressures. Dr. Tiesman is a US based authority on the health of people at work, who thinks that some of us are literally dying from our jobs (suicide) because of the increasingly blurred lines between personal and work life.

At Guidelight Psychology we agree with Dr. Tiesman.

Our experience with a diverse range of clients who attend our Psychology practice for individual assistance, is that an overloaded work-life balance, coupled with increasingly unstable long term economic job security within many industries, can generate extreme mental health deterioration quite rapidly.

Seeking to engage a professional consultation sooner, rather than later, is frequently a very wise (and life revitalizing) move.  It is a sign of wisdom and inner strength (not weakness), to seek out appropriate psychological tools and strategies, if you workplace mental health is under siege.

Life is Busy Stop and take the time to think

In our daily work, consulting with many interesting individual clients over the twenty year history of our private practice, we are privileged to be able to learn from the wisdom & experience of the people we are working with.   A frequent insight that is expressed by many of our more senior age clients (55+ ) was that they regretted not having spent more time just thinking about life and where they were going.  Instead, they seemed to have been on a busy non-stop ride throughout their lives.

So often the demands and busyness of life can keep us from taking a step back to look at the bigger picture.

Why do people in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s & 50’s often find it hard to set aside time to think?

• Life is busy – as life gets busier and more demanding we can sometimes struggle just to stay on top of matters and cope with it all.
• We are on an entertainment ride – we live in a 24/7 consumer – entertainment culture.  It is not in the best interests of the media or entertainment industry for us to switch off and just spend time thinking. Instead, we are offered a never ending, seamless feed of exciting shows, series and sporting events.
• Ants in our pants – many people just can’t keep still long enough to think.
• Quiet contemplation is not really valued or promoted in our society.  The old Greek philosophers would be turning in their graves to see how little talk of deeper issues there is in the public arena today.

When we take time to think we can:

• Look at the big questions.  What is the meaning of life? What do I believe in? What happens to us after we die?
• Create life goals. What would I like to achieve? What things are really important to me? What do I need to be focusing on in 2015 to help me reach my goals?
• Evaluate our journey. What have I been learning? Am I on track to reach my goals? How have I been distracted? What do I need to be doing differently? Whom can I be building a stronger relationship with?
• Appreciate the present. What good things are happening in my life presently and how can I appreciate them more fully?  How can I put my problems into perspective?

As always we would be delighted to make the time to talk with you professionally – please choose to contact us and book an appointment in your own good time !

Why are small business owners stressed?

It was eye catching to read a current report that we have published in part below, from the ABC online news service that so accurately describes an increasing pattern we are seeing in our professional work as mental & physical health consultants. On typically a fortnightly basis over the last few years we get to work ‘one on one’ with a diverse range of business owners in confidential one hour consultations to provide solutions to these challenging issues.  ( See www.guidelight.com.au  – Individuals and Families page )

Furthermore these increasing stresses being faced by business owners, are some of the reasons that  led us to create a specific ½ day professional development forum ( see www.creatinghealthierworkplaces.com.au – Leadership Forums ) and also a rejuvenating Wellness in the Wilderness day long program ( see www.creatinghealthierworkplaces.com.au- Home page ).

Interested new clients are warmly encouraged to contact us for tools, strategies and techniques that will work for them in this critical area of stress management and regaining peace of mind.”

Why are small business owners stressed?

Associate Professor Angela Martin from the Tasmanian School of Business and Economics University of Tasmania has undertaken research into mental health in small business owners.

Martin says there are a number of unique risk factors for mental illness faced by small business owners.

These include:

• financial stress due to unpredictable income
• high levels of uncertainty where you don’t know where the next job is coming from
• high job demands and multiple responsibilities in the workplace
• isolation and lack of social support
• high level responsibility to others including employees and family
• presenteeism where you continue to work even if you aren’t well, because if you are away the business doesn’t happen
• long hours which may be even a bigger problem than in the corporate world
• blurring of boundaries between home and work, finding it difficult to separate yourself from your work and not taking time out for yourself
• business failure, which also carries a suicide risk.These types of factors can result in job stress or strain, which pose a high risk factor for the development of depression.And depression hits small business owners further, especially if they’re unable to work and lose their source of income.

If you are stressed and can’t find a way out, we can help.

Call our office 07 5527 0123 and make an appointment at either our Brisbane or Gold Coast offices.

How 34 kilograms Got Between Me and My Son

34 kilograms got in the way of a better connection with my son and now is the time to enjoy healthy leisure and fun outdoors playtime during the upcoming holiday season.

What will inspire YOU to make a change?

Over the last few weeks I have shared my transformational personal journey that I have taken during this year.

Last week we ran our final leadership forum  for the year, where I unveiled our new program – Creating Healthier Workplaces, an integrated health and well-being program combining the psychological aspects as well as the physical aspects of making health changes.

As we head towards the holiday season, I thought I would share with you an insight into a major change I have experienced which cannot be accounted for by a waist measurement, weighing scales or the time to complete a run.

Too often in life, we can default to accepting the mediocre and end up living a life of limited and partial enjoyment. Most likely this is because we forget the fundamental benefits of an integrated commitment to our long term health and well being practices.

This pattern, of limited focus on personal health routines, coupled with our negative capacity to psychologically minimise, justify and rationalise away any slackness or poor decision making; simply habituates us to our less than optimal stateof well-being.

We justify it thus…

It’s just because I am busy at work and getting closer to fifty that I have put on all this extra weight and one day.......in the never, never land of  some mythical, fanciful retirement future......., I will then finally be able to work less and enjoy more relaxing leisure time.

My anecdotal story below is a small personal example of the bounty that unfolds when we give ourselves permission to make health and well-being a priority in our lives - NOW !

My 20 year old son recently moved back into the family home to relax on his holiday break for a couple of weeks, after a big year of living out of town & ( allegedly ) studying hard as a full-time university student.

To my delight he has stayed reasonably healthy while living on campus and playing lots of college sports throughout the year, in between a few social drinks no doubt.

He has always been a much better surfer than I, and as a born and bred Gold Coast boy, a big priority on his holidays has been to catch up on a few waves.  Luckily for me, I get invited to come along for a paddle as well sometimes, and here is where the tale of our recent beach trip early last weekend morning gets really interesting...

Thanks to my transformational health & wellness journey throughout 2013, I am now 34kgs lighter than I was in January.

In the past, with that much extra bulk pushing down on my mini-mal board I would have typically been pounded in the break, paddled desperately hard like a panting dog struggling to get through the break and maybe eventually staggered out the back in an exhausted state to rattily catch two or three rides before I was spent!

However what a magnificent difference this time, pacing smoothly with my athletic son and flying effortlessly out the back together.  Next, powerful full strokes with easy breathing as I paddle joyfully onto wave after wave after wave and almost no fatigue!

Just pure fun that had been missing for me for far too long!

Remembering my out of shape body and limited strength, coupled with easily losing vitality and quickly fatigued - from back in January - I laughed about how after even catching one wave in to shore back then, would have resulted in: an out of breath; poor recovery struggle as I got washing machine pounded back in the dump zone like a big, fat, floundering fish.

My point is that my hard work of the past 11 months to get fit, lean and healthy again was fully repaid in just that one joyful shared experience last weekend of surfing effortlessly for an extended time in a graceful, relaxed fun activity with my son.

Whatever health and wellness goals you are currently working on, may I respectfully encourage you to focus on the benefits, pleasure and delight you will experience as you become, fitter and stronger and playfully step up into more and more fun outdoor healthier activities....this makes the journey so rewarding, satisfying and worthwhile... just keep going and enjoy the rewards !

What will inspire you to make a change?

I’d love to hear you comments, and what precious activity you would like to claim back, please feel free to share with us in the comments.

Beyond Limits - The Inspiration that Sets Your Spirit Free

This is the fifth and final blog in the series about my journey to find increased health and happiness over the past 11 months.

If you’ve missed the other blogs, here are the links:

• Post 1: Sick to Death of Myself;
• Post 2: Self Sabotage: Fear of Looking Good;
• Post 3: Letting my Light Shine.
• Post 4: I am an Athlete

Creating Healthier Workplaces Program Launch

When I started my journey I thought I was going to lose some weight and get a little fitter.

However, in the process I have discovered so much more including a desire to share my insights to help others.

Merging my own corporate experience with health and wellbeing insights gained through working with a personal trainer this year, has led me to develop the Creating Healthier Workplaces program.

This is a program to assist business owners and managers to get so much more out of their own lives, as well as making their:

• work environments healthier;
• more appealing to employees;
• and more conducive to higher thinking and productivity.

So much has changed in my life - much more than I could have foreseen or dared to hope for. So, as is fitting with my new philosophies, I am just going to get straight into it…

Beyond Limits - The Inspiration that Sets Your Spirit Free

Just like me, each and every person has the ability to make better choices and take steps to realise the potential that lies within.

An inspiring sense of freedom and lightness of living becomes available at this level. The banality of social facades and the tiresome games based on other people’s narrow rules and fearful expectations, drop away.

Physically: In a physical and energetic sense I now have a continuous connection to endurance, power, flexibility and speed within my fit, healthy body.

Emotionally: At the emotional level I consistently feel more joy, gratitude, respect, appreciation, reverence and delight - whatever the ebb and flow of life’s events and circumstance.

Intellectually: At the intellectual level I have a higher level of confidence - this confidence is driven by a non wavering sense of personal power that is strong, resolute, certain, assured, breathtakingly expansive and inclusive of others.

The source of my new levels of energy is inextinguishable - the equivalent of fuelling a fireplace with the inner slow burn logs of deep energy and a sustaining flame.

This is very distinct from my past spluttering, flickering surface actions, and my previously erratic energy bursts of short, frantic activity.

Eleven Months Later ...

Now that I am eleven months into my health and wellness journey, the exercise and nutrition rituals I have learnt from my inspirational personal trainer, have become a habit. This creates the confidence for me to move beyond limits - toward expanding success and wellbeing that previously would have seemed impossible.

Indeed the only way to discover the limits of the possible is to choose to go beyond them into the allegedly impossible!

Because I am so much healthier, it is easier for me to integrate a disciplined pattern of physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual practices into my life.  I no longer struggle to remember to do them.

I actively seek out uplifting situations and environments, particularly in outdoor and wilderness environments, because moving about in natural settings is so much physically easier and rejuvenating for me now.

My renewed energy means I have the focus and clarity to more easily discern the right people and choices that resonate with my core intentions and life purpose. It is simply more and more straightforward to draw forth the best of myself.

Handling Setbacks

Like all of us, setbacks will still cross my path from time to time. I am now much more likely to smile with acceptance and grace in such times of adversity. There’s a knowing that "this too will pass" soon enough, as I continue to grow and learn that I am more physically and mentally tough, endurable, powerful and unbreakable than I had previously realised.

As I enjoy this sense of an upwards spiral through having a much healthier lifestyle, I experience increasing time of joy.

It is increasingly difficult to remember or recognise the version of myself in blog one from January this year:  misguided, stubborn and limited. Back then I did not know what I did not know. I was foolishly covering up all of this with false arrogance and bravado!

My health and wellness journey has fully evolved to become a true partnership with my extraordinary personal trainer - because as a psychologist, I recognise that it is important to admit it times we can't do it all on our own, and there are resources available if we choose to draw on them.

In addition to teaching me a healthier way of life, my personal trainer reminded me to reconnect to my true self; and to remember that the door to each person’s dreams is always open. 

I trust my reflections in this blog have been good food for thought and wherever your dreams may lie at this point in your life; may I respectfully encourage you and ask.....

What are

you

waiting for? 

I Am An Athlete

Sometimes a psychologist needs help too!

The fourth in a series of posts, sharing my personal journey from a fat and grumpy sad sack during nine months of personal training sessions ... to something much better!

Introduction

At the beginning of this year, I embarked on a new lifestyle path because I finally became so sick to death of myself that I knew I needed to do things differently.

Having tried and failed many times before, I finally came to terms with the main saboteur in my life – ME! By doing some intense self-reflection whilst consistently working with my trainer, I was able to make a major breakthrough that unleashed my inner light.

Renewed Energy

A sneak peek into the future - April 2014

The biggest bonus from this stage is the energy I now exude which I can focus on almost any task – mental or physical. I seem able to achieve more than I had previously allowed myself to dream possible.

Every aspect of my life is reaping the rewards. My family find me more present, as I share special times with them I could only dream about before, and my work life is vibrant and exciting once more.

I have discovered a fresh enthusiasm for helping others reclaim their own energy, vibrancy and joy.

For many years we have encouraged our own staff in their healthful endeavours, but now my attention is focused on creating cultures of healthier workplaces within our client base of small, medium and large employers. I am equally excited to be applying our health and wellness approach to assist both profit and not-for-profit organisations.

I am finding this to be a win-win-win scenario for businesses who participate in our programs, with the benefits stretching far wider than can even first be imagined.

While many people are bemoaning the stresses of modern living, imagine a workplace that:

• supports healthier choices,
• creates a nurturing community,
• has reduced absenteeism,
• sees boosted productivity,
• and has the ability to retain staff with incredible loyalty, because it is such a desirable place to work.

This is my vision for healthier workplaces, and my passion is to help management and business owners to create them.

6 Months – A Different Me Emerges

Meanwhile, I have been making progress on my own journey to health and vitality ...

July 2013:  How magnificent, rewarding, invigorating and inspiring to myself, do I feel, each day?  

I am amazed as my physical speed, strength, power, endurance and flexibility almost effortlessly continue to increase. It is a far cry from the sad, fat, tired me of January!

This committed focus on my health, exercise and nutrition routines has become a delightful new way of life.

Most importantly, these positive changes in behaviour have become an integrated and habit-based part of my identity.

In particular, I now have the confidence and self belief to visualise myself as a developing athlete.

Yet again, the initial daring and guidance to step into this deeper identity has come from my gifted personal trainer - an athlete whom I have recently, come to see as “just like me”.

Peter with his personal trainer Nikki

In other words, I know I am good enough, after our 6 month journey together of reshaping my body and coaching my deeper mental discipline, to train and perform at a similar level to this fitness industry professional.

Even better, the sincerity, wisdom and openness with which my trainer has modelled the behaviours and patterns of their own healthy ways to me, means I routinely now think a lot like an athlete would.

I can immediately tell the difference that proper rest and nutrition and right training technique makes to my physical results and appearance.

I will always make time for my proper health

Psychologically, I now understand within every fibre of my being, that I will always make time for my proper health, and that this needs to be my first foundation or fundamental priority.

My trainer still has to guide me on tolerance, patience and acceptance of my current physical limitations and self distractions, that can occasionally take me off track.

Otherwise the “little boy” born again youthful excitement of pure athletic activity, just for the fun of it, might lead me to over training, injury and/or frustration in trying to overreach too far too soon.

I Am An Athlete

So with the proper guidance, I tap patiently and respectfully into my body’s own wisdom and patterns at a deeper and deeper level.  Becoming more aware, that I am retraining my brain patterns, muscle receptor triggers and neurophysiology at a profoundly significant level.

Indeed, I have the very clear realisation, that I have already mentally created and visualised the feel and delight of being an athlete.  An athlete, not to compete against others, but to just powerfully feel energetically alive.

My work with my trainer is now a much more equal partnership, as we seek out how to bring forth from within myself, the beautifully strong and inbuilt physical capacities of my own body.

I sense that my body is like a fine marbled block of granite - very strong and with deep potential.

The fun work for us, is to sculpt, chisel and fine tune. To bring clearly and more translucently to the surface, the personal delight of living in a fit athletic body.

This is a truer body that has always been mine. Simply hidden over the years by layers of poor choices and misinformation, that I previously falsely held onto for far too long.

I now see it as normal and routine to consult with allied health professionals ( eg physiotherapists, nutritionists).

In partnership with my trainer, I tap into a network of motivated professionals who are part of this great new world to me of health, wellbeing and athletic fitness/higher performance, as a natural part of everyday life.

Yet again, I am delighted, and appreciate at a pure instinctive level, that I have found the right personal trainer for me, a professional who can resonate with and guide me into stepping deeply into my true potential. Seeing these capabilities in another, is profoundly changing my life for the better!

The Transformation continues...

You would think my transformational journey is finished with this new inner belief and patterns I have embraced. I have already achieved more than I believed possible just six months ago … but my transformation is NOT finished.

There is one more stage beyond my realisation of my own physical capabilities, latent potential and new core inner beliefs. It has taken me to places I really did not dream possible. The final blog will share my insights into this final stage of my ongoing transformation and I will reveal my progress to date as well as the raw insights I have thus far seen.

The momentum of my transformation has almost become exponential and would have thought it was nearing an end … but now I realise… this is just the beginning …

My personal transformational journey with its highs, lows, successes, failures, intense reflections and massive education in the realms of health and allied concepts from my personal trainer, along with the my professional expertise, psychological insights, knowledge and business focus, mean that I am now more than ever impassioned to create a committed and integrated health, wellbeing and coaching offering for businesses.

This unique modular approach marries healthier lifestyle practices into a business or workplace setting, to create real and enduring change.

Ritualising the approach to a whole, participating individual through physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, the objective is to create enhanced communication, higher functioning and thinking, and an environment that nurtures creativity, cements loyalty and overall creates a healthier workplace for all.

Stepping out and beyond traditional workplace health programs, our modular program is more than just a personal trainer, membership at the gym or coaching sessions. Aside from my own results, we are seeing real results in workplace settings.

Please feel free to comment below, or contact me directly for more information on our innovative new program especially designed for forward thinking workplaces looking for the edge in human resourcefulness.

Sneak Peek Into The Future

Health & Wellness Studio

Whilst there are still two more blogs to go to catch up to where Peter is now on his journey, here's a sneak peek at what is to come.

Peter and Nikki are, pictured here, relaxed and energized, outside their Health & Wellness studio, as they await the arrival of 18 staff from one of their valued workplace client groups to participate in their Creating Healthier Workplace Programs.

The 18 participants are now solidly into week six of their invigorating eight week coaching program with outstanding workplace benefits and powerful personal results already evident....very rewarding for all of us involved together !

Read about Peter's amazing transformational journey starting in Janaury 2013.

Stay in touch with what's happening by liking Guidelight Psychology on Facebook, Twitter or joining us over at Google+.

Letting My Light Shine

Sometimes a psychologist needs help too!

The third in a series of posts, sharing my personal transformation from a fat and grumpy sad sack to a happier, healthier, and stronger human being  during nine months of personal training sessions ...

Introduction:

In January I embarked on a new lifestyle path because I finally became so sick to death of myself that I found a compelling reason and a means to make changes.

I have tried and failed many times before and in my last post, I finally came to terms with the main saboteur in my life – ME!

Support is the Key to Change

After much measured self-reflection and with my trainer (my secret weapon!) consistently supporting me, I have finally broken through and can see that I have already made great progress in breaking the cycle of struggle in all areas of my life:

• physically,
• mentally,
• emotionally,
• and spiritually.

This time, I'm exploring the rewards, both tangible and intangible of this stage of my personal transformation. It's also been a time of consolidating and internalising my motivations, as well as the more obvious physical changes.

One of the biggest bonuses from this stage is the clarity I now have.

This clarity shines a light both looking forward and backwards.

I look forward to what I can now see, I can achieve; as well as looking backwards to my journey so far and the incredible insights this has afforded me.

This new clarity has led me to a renewed passion to help others reclaim their energy and their lives, as I have done.

Part of this is a desire to encourage businesses to create healthier workplace environments to support their workforce, community, productivity and profitability in our stressful and demanding times.

12 Weeks - No Need to Count anymore

Early April 2013: Reluctance & Reliance turns to Joy & Expectation

I am now approximately twelve weeks into my personal training journey and WOW! I am delighted I have stayed committed for a whole three months - and loving it.

My previous life-long pattern would have been a short burst of intense but brief enthusiasm, meaning that by this stage I would have fizzled out and slipped back to minimum physical activities.

Furthermore I would have justified this reneging on myself with some convenient false belief, like:

"Poor me I just have too much in my work/family diary at the moment to keep exercising and I will get back into it again soon ...blah blah blah."

Fortunately for me, my Trainer’s contagious enthusiasm and sheer joy in participating in energetic, fun physical routines, keeps me on track.

I now can sense my increased mental toughness and expanding desire to challenge myself physically. I have a deeper self belief in my abilities and capabilities.

I look and feel stronger and can connect to the movement of my muscles much better.

I look forward to my regular training sessions as the most important and inspiring use of my time each week.

On each occasion my trainer is subtly educating me with physiological and nutritional advice that generates clear and specific health benefits for me.

• I have an expanding sense of ease, enjoyment and excitement that transfers through training into my life in general.
• I am increasingly aware of my reliable progress and understand clearly, that if I consistently do the work (food, rest, exercise, stretching) I will always see the results.
• I start to notice a maturation in my use of power and focus, becoming much more insightful about aligning more gently with subtle physical (plus psychological) energy.
• I nurture and flow with the rhythm of my body during exercise sessions, and thus start to tap into a much more sustainable and enduring source of core strength.
• My laughter and playfulness expand because  am no longer just driven by fierce brute male force or aggression.

I so much look forward to each training session, that it has now become clear to me that I have definitely stepped into a new way of life.

People around me comment that I look younger and fitter and stronger. I smile appreciatively, because every deep fibre of my renewed healthier self knows this is true.

In work and social settings I've noticed a more grounded and inspired personal presence, but without the ego or arrogance.

How My Life Has Changed

My lifestyle benefits and simpler easier ways of getting things done are also worth acknowledging.

Mundane but delightful advantages like now being able to…

• athletically climb up a back yard ladder effortlessly;
• spring onto the tin roof at home;
• and spend an energetic Saturday morning pruning the large overhanging palm fronds.

All this and more has become easy and graceful.

Because by now I am more than 20 kilograms lighter, I no longer shuffle gingerly on the tin roof sheeting as I once would have.

I no longer feel unsafe, tense and poorly balanced as I previously sensed the danger of my excessive weight buckling the tin sheets and collapsing through the structure.

I feel truly blessed to be guided by such an inspirational trainer, who has respectfully walked beside me on the journey of the last 3 months and reminded me that it is natural and delightful to truly prioritise health and wellbeing practices into the daily rituals of my life.

Looking after You Honours Others

Investing in myself this way is also an excellent way to honour the other people in my life who I love and care about.

I am truly enjoying giving myself permission to enjoy doing the training that is rekindling my joy and vitality - my inner light.

This light burned brightly in the heyday of my past energetic youth and is now is once again beginning to shine brightly!

At the beginning of July 2013 I participated in the Gold Coast Marathon, the culmination of this phase and the embodiment of letting my light shine through. This day signifies the start of the next phase of my transformation, which I will be sharing in the next blog in this series, as I transform my beliefs about myself with a realisation that truly aligns my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual self with a common purpose.

As a result of my own personal journey with its successes, failures, reflections and education in the realms of health from my personal trainer and the rigors of my professional expertise, knowledge and business focus; I have become impassioned to create a committed and integrated health, wellbeing and coaching offering for businesses.

This unique approach marries healthier lifestyle practices into a business or workplace setting that is enduring and creates real change.

Ritualising the approach to a whole, participating individual through physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing, the objective is to create enhanced communication, higher functioning and thinking, an environment that nurtures creativity, cements loyalty and overall creates a healthier workplace for all.

Stepping out and beyond traditional workplace health programs, our modular program is more than just a personal trainer, membership at the gym, or some life coaching sessions. Aside from my own results, we are getting real results in workplace settings.

Please feel free to comment below, or contact me directly for more information on our innovative new program especially designed for forward thinking workplaces looking for the edge in human resourcefulness.

Self Sabotage – Fear of Looking Good

Sometimes a psychologist needs help too!

The second in a series of posts, sharing my personal journey from a fat and grumpy sad sack during nine months of personal training sessions ...

Introduction

To stop this year ending up like the last few (or rather many) years, struggling to keep my head above water physically, financially and at times emotionally, I have embarked on a new journey.

And I’m doing something different ... at the same time I’m personally experiencing the stages of creating enduring change, breaking bad patterns, and reclaiming my life, that as a psychologist I often find myself teaching to others!

This is the second of 5 blogs recording the different stages of my own personal transformation, and how that has led me to insights that I now use to help individuals reclaim their energy and their lives. It has also given me a passion to help businesses to create healthier workplace environments to support their workforce, community, productivity and ultimately their own profitability.

The sad sack, fat and negative old bastard, I started the year as, has to some extent, moved aside.

I’ve kept up training and healthier eating for 6 weeks and there’s some real improvements being made.

Physically, especially, there’s progress … but then there’s this massive roadblock that I just didn’t expect – which is odd because I’ve seen it before!

6 Weeks And Counting…

Mid February 2013: Development and Disruptions

I have to acknowledge that six weeks into my training routine, I am starting to sleep better and feel less stressed.

Nevertheless, there is still no way I would reliably get out of bed early each week to work out hard in the local park.

For that, I still rely upon, my motivating personal trainer, who continues kindly sending me text reminders and regular snippets of information and encouragement during the week.

The Power of Modelling and Example

My trainer’s contagious positive enthusiasm, happiness and zest for life is having a vicarious effect on me. I'm seeing firsthand the power of modelling, and becoming the average of those you surround yourself with …

Her strength of belief in my progress and capacity is a much-needed substitute for my own self doubt, excuses and long entrenched habits of self-sabotage. Left unchecked, I am sure, I would already be falling back into my old unhealthy ways.

Dare I say it … I am even starting to look forward to nutritional and physiological information and advice from my trainer.

I am starting to reluctantly agree... this integrated approach slowly seems to be working!

I am also becoming more interested in the concepts of recovery and strain prevention.

I’m starting to honour and nurture the rhythms of my physical body, and am replacing my old views of seeing my physical self as an external obstacle, to forcefully discipline with brute strength and aggressive demands.

I am even starting to notice that the touch of my own body feels different in the shower, with more toned muscles and sleeker awareness of bones and torso outlines. 

Could this be the beginning emergence of my true, real and long lost healthy self???

AND THEN, suddenly into my awareness my biggest sabotage fear rears its hidden tentacles from my deeper subconscious

The Fear of Looking Good!

I had become comfortable and willing to settle for my big belly, beer drinking social self, as an easier way of living.

Believe it or not, I was now becoming scared about the loss of my old self and social identity, if I started looking like a healthier, fitter and younger man.

Around this time of emerging doubt about my desire to truly change my physique, extended family relatives started to criticise and ridicule my efforts ...

• It won’t last Peter, just have a beer or two with us at the weekend BBQ and let your hair down for a while.
• This is a special family/social occasion, surely you can eat a big meal with everyone and have a few social drinks to relax and celebrate in style?
• Don’t overdo this training Peter, maybe you are pushing yourself a bit too hard.
• These personal trainers can be an expensive luxury Peter are you sure you can afford it? Do you really think its worth the money?

I worried about the loss of my old familiar "big boy" social identity, as the host and hearty provider of plenty of good food and cold drinks for everyone - and the more the merrier at our family feasts!

The Inner Voice of Self-Sabotage

I started finding ridiculous justifications to trick myself into backing away from ongoing sessions.

• Gee as my waist size decreases I will be up for the expense of a heap of new business clothes, I cannot afford all that.
• Do I really believe I am worthy to be a superbly fit and healthy guy, or is that just the territory of youth? Am I just kidding myself by thinking I can turn back the clock?”

Through all of this, my trainer listened to my doubts, regularly smiled and gave me new health knowledge.

And most importantly of all:

• Simply held me accountable;
• Kept demonstrating and insisting that I do the exercises and physical routines; and
• Encouraged me to keep modifying the types of food I regularly ate.

Furthermore, my trainer modelled and embodied the truth of her own techniques.

In other words, there was an integrity and congruence around the health and vitality of her joyful lifestyle that deeply resonated with me. It was hard for me to ignore, minimise, justify or rationalise away this embodiment of lifestyle alignment, with my litany of weak excuses for quitting on myself.

Guess what, when you persist with the routines, and have a genuine role model, you continue to get the results.

Bit by bit I started to leave my doubts behind and notice the beginning emergence of the joy and enjoyment of fitness training, as a regular and natural part of my daily life.

Breaking through this self-sabotage syndrome and barrier of doubt means that I am truly ready for my health and well being takeoff. I’ll be sharing this phase in the next blog - "Letting My Light Shine".

Breaking Bad - Sick To Death Of Myself

Sometimes psychologists need help too! I want to share with you my personal journey to effective and lasting change during nine months of personal training sessions.

• How have I become so fat and unfit?
• How can I break this pattern?
• How can I distance myself from the stress and negatives in my life?

Stage One - Sick to Death of Myself

Early January 2013: I have become a sad sack, fat and negative old bastard!

It’s the start of a new year, but it will end up like the last few with me struggling to keep my head above water physically, financially and at times emotionally, unless I do something different.

It’s easy to start health kicks that last a few days, weeks or maybe even months… but how do you create enduring new patterns, and break the bad patterns and reclaim your life?

I am sick to death of myself and I do not want to repeat these years of deterioration until I just cannot summon the energy to try anymore… and I’ll be swept away out of control.

The Starting Line

I dislike the look of my own body, my paunchy belly and rolls of fat, my thickened neck line and chubby face. I am angry at myself and embarrassed that I have become so fat and unfit over the past few years.

I eat junk food and rubbish desserts and guzzle beer, as a token way to mask my unresolved stress, anxiety and financial worries.

I have a gluttonous misperception of reasonable portion size meals. I plate up feasts of fatty, unhealthy foods that would fill 4 x people’s stomachs and think this huge plateful is normal for everyone.

I do not know what I do not know about health, nutrition and sustainable physical exercise.

I am arrogant and defensive and in pathetic self-deluded denial ... my internal self talk is ready with excuses and lies to myself like…

• If I did not have the pressures of a business to run, naturally then I would be fit and train regularly.
• I do not need help or expertise to guide me back to health, because I played sport as a younger man and I know what needs to be done to get back into shape.
• Spending money on a personal trainer is a luxury indulgence and I cannot justify the cost when the other bills are piling up. 

And the list could go on and on …

Sadly, I have lost my charisma and joy and vitality for life. I work towards my goals in a mood of resignation, feeling:

• overburdened;
• heavy;
• fatigued;
• unhappy; and
• slightly irritable, far too frequently.

 I do not sleep well and find it difficult to truly relax or unwind. Over dependence on beer, coffee and workaholic office hours seems my only (false) remedies.

Not another Health Kick!

Even my dear wife, son and daughter are legitimately sceptical about my announcement that I am embarking on yet another “health kick”!

Over many years, they have witnessed my pattern of false bravado and broken promises as I entreat to them earnestly that…

• This time will be different.

• This time I will not quit on myself.

• This time I will truly succeed.

Only to see, a few months later, that my healthy attempts have defaulted back to my old negative and undisciplined ways again.

The Glimmer

Peter Doyle Psychologist and Executive Coach Guidelight Team

Luckily though, I still believe in my potential and ability and earlier life patterns of success when I was regularly able to happily inspire myself and others.

I know my inner light of strength and wisdom and endurance has never been extinguished, just dimmed and stifled by my own negative thinking and poor choices in food, health, rest and play.

Serendipity and desperation both combine to send me, reluctantly, to talk to a personal trainer.

Is it Worth the Money?

I am still sceptical and defensive about spending the money, but I know deep down my own unhealthy patterns have become more and more entrenched over time.

My recent past attempts to shift back into healthier ways have resulted in a brief burst of enthusiasm - followed by a slow decline back into the bad old ways.

This time, I say, Yes – let’s try something different, just for a little while, to break my old patterns.

I am blessed that despite my own obstacles and distractions, good fortune has smiled upon me and I have found the right Personal Trainer for me.

A magnificent journey has begun, despite me being still naively unaware of how much growth and insight will occur as I head back towards healthy vitality, the original blueprint for all of us!

Join me over these next 5 blogs as I explore the different stages of my own personal transformation, and how that has led me to insights that I now use to help others to reclaim their energy and their lives ...

In my next post, you will hear about the obstacles I faced, and how they were overcome, as I struggled past my usual time limit of previous “health kicks”.

In the meantime, I'd welcome your comments about your own struggles and in particular, how your workplace has supported (or not) your own attempts to improve all around wellbeing.